2 YEARS.

2 years. Those two words have been ringing in my ears these past few days. Why? Because I'm right in the middle of two years that have changed me and the past and will yet change me in the future.

PAST.

Two years ago from this very weekend, (General Conference) the age change for missionaries became from 19 year old young men to 18. As well as 21 to 19 for young women. I can remember sitting there not really paying attention and the change was announced. My mom started crying and I wondered what it was about. (My mom has really good eye plumbing...all of us inherited it from her.) We rewinded it and it was so life changing. That very day, Adam and my dad talked about starting his mission papers. By the end of the month (October 31st.) Adam received his call to serve the people of Torreon, Mexico for two years. I didn't expect those next two years to be so rough.

PRESENT.

Just a couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to be a missionary for a few hours as a missionary experience for my ward. (We got dressed up as missionaries, and went to people in the ward and had dinner with them and taught a lesson.--just like missionaries!) It was an amazing experience. I was excited--yet very nervous--for it! It taught me that missionary work is hard. It's difficult to express how you feel, but it's so worth it! I HIGHLY, HIGHLY suggest doing this activity for your young men and women in your ward. It's hard work, but it's so worth it! I'm so glad I had the opportunity.

I honestly can't be happier than I am with the choices I've made to this point in my life. Certainly not without trial and hardship but I'm very pleased with the person I've become. I have the best family, friends, teachers, leaders, and all around examples in my life. Anyone I've met has made me become a better person. And I thank you for that! But I thank my Heavenly Father and brother Jesus Christ. Without their examples I wouldn't have this crazy, stressful, spiritual, tiring, laughable life I have. I can't wait to see what my future holds and to be able to learn through experiences and trials. 

FUTURE.

Two years from now, I could be doing one of two things; 

-At college working to be the best person I can be and learning much and getting a degree.--note: NOT MARRIED.

OR

-I could be serving the Lord on a mission wherever he decides to take me. 

Right now, I'm in the middle of the choices I've made in the past and will make in the future. I can't believe the happiness, sadness, and all around joy I've felt and will yet feel in these past two years and next two years to come. Maybe I'll still be blogging then and can remember this post.--No promises! 

~Two years seems like an eternity in the moment, but it's not! I can't wait to see what kind of future I will have and will yet to learn from my past and present. Surely, Full of Smiles!~

Now for some pictures of the present!

Shining our light!--Tanner came to Orange Territory...

Because Bryan felt left out.

A friendship divided!

Companions! Sister Bergout and Sister Barnes.

My testimony of Christ, Missionary Work, and the Gospel grew so much!

The White Rail District.

Some of me best pals. 

And other fantastic people.

As well as a non-choirite being on the choir homecoming float.

Bonfire with me frannnns.

Because this is how we roll. 

Riley rocked it!

Football game!

Some of my favorite people ever! #mywhitefriends

The ginger, cow, and asian. Oh, and a surf.

JANITORS FOR LYFE! I haven't seen Caitlyn in FOREVER! So you can imagine how happy I was finally seeing her! Oh, and there's Faith. I see her like everyday. 

Hair train!

My best friend.

Thanks for taking me Cayden!

I also love this chicka.

Because...yeahhhh

We like to take up the entire couch.

The group! So fun!

That sass though.

But Chris is the real sass master.

Oh look! I bought a bag of air!

We looked pretty darn spiffy because of conference in general!

A LETTER FROM ANDREW!!!

4 Little Munchkins! 

Why they don't smile, I haven't a clue.

Apparently, Micah aspires to be a nun someday.

Can you spot the Andrew?

I DID!!!

My Best Pal.

This week's post is not my typical one. I usually do after-the-trial or after-the-hard-time kind of update. But not today. This one is going to go on for two years. It's going to hurt and be a sore spot. But I don't want to forget.

HARDEST WEEK EVER.

This past week has undoubtedly been the hardest I've ever had. I don't think I could even fathom how hard it would be. Yes, I had gone through it 4 times prior, but this time was different. As is any experience and trial you go through. And even though I thought I had lost my best pal, I really found him.

Ok now to somewhat lighten the mood, pal is seriously one of the funnest words to say. But really, say it to yourself now. Just under your breath! Or scream it out loud. Whatever floats your goat.

Now that you seem to secretly (or not to secretly) made a fool of yourself, think of your best pal. Someone that can make you laugh when you certainly don't want to, whose smile can brighten your day, who can tell you something you REALLY needed to hear, and was just THERE to help.

That's what happened to me. Almost two years ago, I said "see ya" to my best pal. He went to go serve the Lord and the people of Mexico. And just last Wednesday, I said another "see ya" to my other best pal. He went to serve the Lord and the people of Ecuador. I now get to communicate with my two best pals via email once a week and via phone/skype twice a year. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I WAS ALONE.

Losing two of your best pals what seems like one right after another is rough. That's exactly how I would explain this past week. It was rough. Not a smooth path or a nice walk. But rough. I felt VERY alone. People would say they understood how I felt, but I felt NOBODY could understand. They didn't know what it was like. They hadn't been through my particular situation and felt the loneliness I had felt. I have done what seems like I've always supposed to. I'm not a perfect person but I love the gospel. But I had been left alone. I didn't understand why this was happening, I didn't understand why I was alone. But I wasn't.

I WASN'T ALONE.

The very person I was angry at for leaving me and forcing me to live what seemed like a nightmare, actually helped me. My Heavenly Father. And you know what he did? He sent His son. But he knew that I would hurt and feel lonely now, so he sent him long ago. And my Savior, Brother, Jesus Christ knows EXACTLY how I feel. Because he once, suffered for my sins. He once felt the pain, hurt, and sorrow I felt saying "see ya" to my two best pals. Because, my other brother; Jesus Christ IS my best pal. And I am so grateful for that. Because I wasn't alone. I wasn't EVER alone. He knows how I felt when I gave my best pals that last hug before I watched them walk away for two years. He knows how I felt when I felt like nobody could understand me. He knows how I felt when I cried the most tears I ever had because I felt utterly alone. He knows, because he is my Savior and I DIDN'T walk that path alone.

IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY.

I have no doubt that even after I face this trial that it's going to be hunky dory! Because it's not! I'm still going to feel not only the pain of seeing my brothers out on missions, but also getting through high school. High school is so fun. I love what I've experienced and the friends I've made. But high school is still high school. It's still hard. It's still me and everyone trying to figure out what our futures are mixed with the fun stuff like hormones--boo! But I know that even though high school can be rough, it can still be fun with some of my best pals by my side!

That Moogan girl though. And that Groot kid photoboming with his female friend!

This is Helga's lesser known brother, Steve.

Some people (Tanner) don't want their face painted. Pish posh.

That's what's up. 

This was just funny.

And because okay signs with painted hands is a must. 

I actually don't really know where this picture came from...it kinda just appeared I guess.

All girls! Wait...no yeah all girls.

Tanner's face...

Oh my white pals. 

Because some peoples faces are priceless in this... I'll let you guess who. 

Those gingers though.

Yup. 

Hot Chocolate club. You wish you were us.

~Even though this past week was harder than I ever anticipated it would be, I'm glad I had my best pal, brother, Savior, and Redeemer by my side. Because I know that these next two years are going to be rough, but more than anything, they will be Full of Smiles.~

Miles Apart, But Both Living the Gospel at Heart.

Here's to someone who has already spent 18 years making others laugh, doing good, and serving others and more!...

He was a chubbert. 

The youngest of 5 crazy boys!

Willing to do whatever those 5 crazy boys said!

But really.

Willing to hang with me and do some crazy stuff.

Be a nerd. 

Love working outdoors.

Share with me, even if it was hard. 

Be a crazy animal anything lover.

Had a great imagination.

Able to tan darker than anyone in our family. 

Always happy.

He's always been good at cheesy smiles.

And somehow love to run absurd distances.

Been my dads pal.

Always be crazy with Adam and I.

Be a nerd. 

And my partner in crime. 

Always willing to do weird things. 

Pretend that we were the kids from Dragon Tales.

Take selfies with me. 

Twin with Jesus Sandals. 

Be weird on long car rides. 

Leave selfies on my phone. 

Be worthy of the Priesthood. 

Be weird. Again. 

Love being an uncle. 

No matter what. 

Understand the love of seafood we share. 

These next two years are going to be rough without my partner in crime. Nobody drives me more crazy, makes me want to scream, and irritates me beyond belief. But there's nobody more understanding, more loving, more accepting, more weird, than my big brother Andrew. 

One of the greatest things I've learned from Andrew is even if you don't like the situation, you've just got to put on your big girl panties and buck it up with a smile. He's never put the Gospel second in his life. He's always lived it from deep in his heart KNOWING it's true. Even if it's not the popular vote. He shows others that God loves you even if you think it's hard to be loved. That's the greatest lesson you can learn. 

~Saying see you later is going to be rough. The people of Quito, Ecuador are SO lucky. We will be Miles Apart, But Both Living the Gospel at Heart. That makes these next two years Full of Smiles.~

I LOVE YOU ANDREW! You're going to do great things these next two years. No doubt they won't be easy, but bringing those to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will be SO worth it. I don't doubt you'll be a fantastic missionary. I never thank you enough for how much you love me and serve and do things for me no matter the way I treat you. THANK YOU!!! I LOVE YOU ELDER BARNES #5!!!