Everyone... well...you know

I call it my Everyone Poops Day. I was serving my mission in Peru, and to be quite frank-it was a crappy day.

Now lets set the scene with a good 'ol mission pic...ready?

May 6th, 2018

I remember a book in my high school Child Development class called, "Everyone Poops." I thought, "Well that's obvious!"

Today was one of those days. Where I thought, "Everyone has problems? Clearly! But please don't tell me them." But being a missionary, you are here to represent Jesus Christ-so even if it's hard, you have to do it! Because that's what Christ would do.

My heart dropped down more and more as each investigator said they couldn't come [to church] or didn't answer their phone. More as we saw the Elders with three of their investigators, and even more as an investigator sent us a text saying they no longer want to receive us. 

Everybody poops.
Everybody makes mistakes.
Everybody sins. 
Everybody feels sad. 

To be honest, I still feel a huge hole in my heart with everything that's happened today...and the past week. Maybe I'm in shock or don't want to accept it. 

I feel so small as a laborer in the Lord's vineyard right now. I don't understand why this is so hard right now. How much we are working to bring souls unto Him seems meaningless. I don't know exactly why I'm here at this time-and why this is so hard. Honestly, I'll probably NEVER know. 

But I know Christ does. And my Father in Heaven. I may whine at times and not appreciate the trials He gives me-but I know His love is everlasting. And it'll come. And I'll feel it more each day-

I'm putting it all in His Hands.

Because everyone has problems-and Christ can only fix them. And I need Him too.

Love, Hermana Barnes 

At times when I think back to this day, (not even 6 months ago) I think, "Man. That day kinda blew." I won't forget the sickening feeling of going to pick up investigators and nobody came to the door. The heartbreaking moment when we received the text asking us not to visit again, (even after we had excitedly talked the whole day about what we were going to teach them) or even just not wanting to eat that day-feeling sick because nothing seemed to go our way. I felt so insufficient for God's love.

Flash-forward to today, and we made it through! It was hard. I was on the verge of tears many times that day, just trying my best to be a happy missionary. But I'm so grateful that I was able to learn the importance that really everyone poops.

So what does this even have anything to do with...anything?

I just finished up with my 10 day social media fast, as challenged by President Russell M. Nelson. He specifically asked us,

I invite you to participate in a 10-day fast from social media and from any other media that bring negative and impure thoughts to your mind.

We were watching the Women's Conference from home, and Jake turned to me and said, "it may be best if you just give me your phone for the next 10 days." 

So I deleted my Facebook and Instagram apps right there. Just to prove a point.

But to be completely honest, I wasn't sure how it would be for me to take a break from the "virtual world." But I did learn a few things that really changed my aspect on social media. 

Not Alone

I think one of my favorite things during throughout the 10 days was an overwhelming wave of support from the women in my life. 

My mom texted me how she would start the fast as well;

I'm pretty sure one of the only reasons my mom has an Instagram is to see what I'm actually up to! But as I talked to ladies from home, at school, and church it was so great to see that we were not in the challenge alone. I heard many comments such as, "I feel like I am getting more done," or "I used to always check my phone!" but my favorite is "my phone battery lasts a lot longer!" 

Negatively...Positive?

One of the greatest promises we were given by President Nelson, came with his second invitation, 

I invite you to read the Book of Mormon between now and the end of the year. As impossible as that may seem with all you are trying to manage in your life, if you will accept this invitation with a full purpose of heart, the Lord will help you find a way to achieve it. And, as you prayerfully study, I promise that the heavens will open for you. The Lord will bless you with increased inspiration and revelation.

The prophet didn't just ask us to forget social media for 10 days and figure out what we should do next. He asked us to fill it with the guidance that we (sometimes) forget is there for us! He asked us to fill the negative with positive. I have found a greater understanding of the personal trials that I have been given and the exact way to overcome them as I have studied and followed the words of the prophets of God. 

Everyone poops.

More than anything, I learned something I wasn't expecting. I thought "maybe not having social media for 10 days will help me to have a greater self-confidence. It'll help me not to compare myself as much to other women." But I got the exact opposite.

I learned that everyone poops. I learned that we each are fighting such a personal battle. However, that can be hidden by anyone who hits the "post" button. I learned that maybe scrolling down a Facebook or Instagram feed didn't make me improve my self-confidence, rather I was able to see that I wasn't the only one struggling with daily trials. My eyes were opened to the different circumstances that we all face, but that we as women-we are dang strong. 

So to put it in quite literal terms, everyone has crappy days. We all go through things in our lives that we would rather just crawl into bed, pull the covers over our head, and go back to sleep. But we always have been able to accomplish greater things as we do it together.

For whatever kind of day we have, I know there is one man who understands exactly how it all is.

If you need a reminder on how awesome you truly are, click here.