Evidently Satan does have a Twitter, because he did #comeatme.
(Not come eat me, that could be confused with that hashtag language, FYI.)
This past week we had our closing assembly for Seminary (crying emoji). My heart aches to know that this calling is coming to a close, but this isn't about how much I'm going to miss being Mama Marissa full time. Every time we have an activity or assembly of some sort for seminary, smelly Satan always tries to sneak his way in. (Not cool bro!) But it has always landed where he's tried to mess something up the week of the assembly.
So this time, I was like "cool, I'll get everything prepped and make sure we're all good to go and Satan can't sneak his smelliness into anything of our assembly." Welllll...I was wrong. Because the smelly Satan came in the week before, and decided to do what he would to make things...awful. Haha my friends, that week was ranked as one of the worst weeks I've had in quite a while! Dang it Satan, get off Twitter.
There's those weeks where just one thing after another hits you and hits you and hits you! To me it basically feels like when you're walking and you just totally biff it and skin your knee. You'll get up and totally biff it and skin your other knee. Haha that's truly what that whole week felt like. And dang it, being happy is already hard!
Anyways, after going through a week where everything seemed to be falling apart, and the ground beneath my feet started to seemingly crumble, Saturday finally came around and one more "skinned knee" trial happened and I just lost it.
Now I'm not very good with the whole stress thing, so there's two things I typically do when it comes to stress; eat fries (usually the large kind), or go for a run (typically because I don't have money for fries).
Well I laced up my Nike's because I didn't have money for fries and I hit the pavement. And let me tell ya'll something, I am slower than snail snot when it comes to running. Like seriously I have the hardest time pacing myself. As Sister Nielsen would say, I slog. (Slow jog--fine probably not even that!)
I went further than I thought I would, and everything from the entire week just weighed heavy on my mind and I felt what seemed like a physical burden on my shoulders. It was so heavy. I finally stopped in my tracks and felt like I couldn't breathe. Not because I'm totally out of shape, but I had literally lost it and was sobbing. I probably looked like a complete fool and walked to a park that was on my trail, it was quiet and there were no kids around so I sat down and just cried, feeling sorry for myself. (And seriously hoping nobody saw some crazy Asian girl sitting there crying to herself.)
Then this dang crow flies by. And I just wanted to say, "alright, cool Heavenly Father. You're gonna send me Satan's bird to be with my when I'm crying and upset at the world? Ok cool." *Insert a whole lot of sass here* So I would do what anyone would, I took a selfie with Satan's bird.
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| There he (or she) is, just chillin' at the top of the slide. |
I was so frustrated, hurt, and angry. I wanted to yell and scream, "Heavenly Father! I'm doing what I'm supposed to! I'm doing what you've asked me to, I'm reading my scriptures, I'm praying, I'm doing my best to be kind to others and trying to be happy! And it's hard. Why is this whole week so hard! Why is it that when I'm doing my best, and doing what you ask, WHY IS IT SO DANG HARD?!"
I didn't expect an answer. I just wanted to blame my unhappiness on someone else. But just then, when I was feeling at my lowest of lows, Heavenly Father answered me.
He let me know, He reminded me that sometimes we just get hard things in life. Sometimes we get curveballs and things thrown at us that we never would have expected. Sometimes when we're doing the right things, it's just still going to be hard. And that's the way it's supposed to be. That's the way it always will be.
Finding happiness in a world where you have to seek out the joys is hard. BOY IS IT HARD!! But sitting there that day on a playground, with a stinkin crow behind me, Heavenly Father answered my prayers. He heard me. He hears me. He hears us!! And how great is it to know that our own Father in Heaven hears us. Even when we probably don't deserve it, or when we can't see it his way. He still hears us!
So back to my story, I got up from that playground. Slogged back home, and gave my cute 3 year old niece a hug. Because when I was feeling sorry for myself, I didn't recognize the tender mercy that came my way just minutes before I left for my run.
Cute little Mike looked at me right in the eyes and said, "Rissa, you look beautiful!" And you know what, I didn't think much of it. I was thinking about how awful the trials were that I was given. That I was in sweats and without makeup, my hair in a ponytail, and that things weren't fair. But when I gave that (sassy and emotional) three-year old a hug after I came back, I would hope how much she knows what I mean when I say "I love you Mike!" And I certainly would hope she would listen and know when her Heavenly Father tells her He hears, listens, and loves her too.
So yes, Satan does have a Twitter. But I'm not follower of his. Try again fool. *peace sign*
Mostly Marissa
If you want to hear a seriously amazing song and feel utterly happy and loved, watch this video by Hilary Weeks.
If you want to read about Stephanie Nielson from the video, check out her blog!
